Not sure why I am feeling the way I am. 2 weeks ago I did Easter and I had a blast... so WHY am I feeling the way I am feeling tonight.
last night I started to chat with Jen about FAMILY... Oh I know I am the one that has to change and make my life the way I want it to be. But I am feeling a little missed and sometimes I am missing all the fun.. and well... that All I can really say.
I do not know why or what is causing me to feel a little blue tonight. Trust me.. I am kind of glad that I dont have the stress I have been having and that I am somewhat relaxed tonight. I made 2 Peanut Butter French silk pies and I have no one coming over for dinner tomorrow because I have to work. Tell me what the heck is that all about.
maybe it is the fact that I have not had family over for the last 2 sundays and I am missing it. I said that when Ted and Shelby leave and Cam and Lane leave I was done. I might not be. I might have to do it because I need it in my life. Maybe that is why I have been blue the last few days.
I guess I am not truely happy unless I am serving someone or doing something for someone else. It's odd to say that because I really think sometimes I want to be selfless. really... I just want it all to be about me... me... me... me...
It's odd feeling this way and I know that this is not me. but I fight with myself sometimes and just say WHY not me.
anyway I know its sad that I am writing this down, but sometime I just have to write what is on my mind.