My Mind has been Racing....

I know right now I should not write because I am in a funk and my mood is not the best but maybe that is the best time to write and get these thoughts off my mind and I might feel better about it after I write it out.

Best part about it is I can delete it if I find out I don't like what I wrote.. RIGHT!

I should just go to the Temple and I know I will get the right answer and do the right thing there.
but right now I cant because it is to late and well...

So I have kept a lot  of things to myself... just because I know that is what I need to do. I have been blessed with the the ability to see many trials and tribulations, not only  in my life but in the life of others.
It is so hard not for me to get upset and angry and fall apart and well.. I just try to be positive.

I should leave it at that and not leave my feelings get involved but I do. I really do.. I take everything so very personally. REALLY I do!


So my feelings were hurt a few weeks ago and I am trying to leave it go.. I just have a hard time doing so. SO I was thinking if I typed it out that maybe I could find myself to leave it go and not dwell on it anymore.
So without going into full details.. and giving names and what it is I will just vent a little. and well... I can get it out in the open.

So a few years ago I started to go with some friends to see a show. Every Holiday season its like what brings our friendship all together. I love this show and I enjoy going to see it every year with these friends. This year I was never told about the show and when the show was and well.. My friends got the tickets without informing me about the show. YES I am hurt about it. WHAT really hurt my feelings it that they threw it back into my face which was so uncalled for.  Dropping it like it was no big deal and did not really caring about what was going on and how I might feel about not being invited.  YES I am hurt and I need to leave it go. BUT its really hard for me to leave it go and IT has cause me to have ill feelings towards these friends.  And I do not know who has said it.. but sometimes when you are mad at someone they have no Idea that you are mad or hurt. So I need to leave it go. I need to ask for forgiveness because I have hard feeling against them and they have no idea. I could go buy myself a ticket and go by myself but that is not what the point of it would be. the point was that we did as FRIENDS!

Moving on... SO I have been having a hard time with trying to understand what is going on with my calling and I found myself low in heart and discouraged. YES YES YES... thanks to a mother that can see a little better than what I can.. told me we have to become one with Our Heavenly Father and maybe those people who's names were presented to me that day might just have needed extra prayer in there lives.
and if you know me I was kicking against the picks as to say. SO Its back to thinking and pondering and praying. I was told to wait until the dust settles awhile before things happen.... IF you know me you know I don't like dust and I am one that has to keep the dust moving on... because if you can write your name in the dust then something has to be changed!

As soon as I just typed that changed the phone just rang... it was the executive secretary for the bishop calling and asking me to come in for a meeting on Sunday! wow and I was thinking in my mind the song.. CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE!